Here's the deal with pots & pans.
- Don't get a cookware set - you will be better off acquiring your cookware as-needed to fill specific needs
- Don't use teflon. Don't use teflon. Don't use hex with teflon nestled in the little crevases. Don't use inherited teflon. Teflon will scratch and you will get carcinogenic bits in your food. Also it doesn't retain heat, so you can't get good sear.
- Don't chase coatings and materials. Don't bother with anodized aluminum you'll end up with pitted pans.
- Focus on clad stainless steel and cast iron, and some really easy technique notes - don't panic, these are easier than "don't use metal utensils" rules with teflon or "don't cook with too much acidity" like with anodized aluminum.
All Clad D3 stainless 12" frying pan
This is your main workhorse. If you're not used to it, get in the practice of preheating.
Lodge 9 inch cast iron skillet
This is a solid pan also. If you can't afford the All Clad yet, this is a decent main pan. You might want the step-up size 10.25 inch or 12 inch, both with helper handles.
Don't get super expensive cast iron - no need. Don't sweat the care
All Clad D3 3qt saucepan
My favorite all around sauce pan, by far. metal lid, comfortable handle.
Cuisinart 4qt (MCP194-20N)
The handle is slightly uncomfortable/awkward to carry when the pot is full, but it's a decent 4qt with metal lid. I usually reach for the All-Clad 3qt unless it's dirty or I need more capacity. I use this for pasta.
All Clad 4Qt with helper handle
I haven't actually used this, but given my hands-on experience with the Cuisinart 4qt, if I had to pick a 4qt again I'd probably give this a try. The helper handle looks much more comfortable than the Cuisinart 4qt.
Tramontina 3qt sauce pan
The clad stainless is the base only, not the sidewalls. Some will say this is suboptimal for heating, which is true, but it often isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. It's quite a bit cheaper than the d3 walled sauce pans, so it's a nice option. Also since the sides are not walled, there is no exposed aluminum to decay (see note below). The positives are is it's a good-enough inexpensive 3qt stainless pot. If you require inexpensive and/or dishwasher safe, go with this.
If you are looking for the least expensive setup, the Lodge cast iron and the Tramontina are good. You can add later. This will put you far ahead than any teflon/aluminum setup.
Clad stainless cookware care
The one thing with clad stainless is to check if there's an exposed lip. the layers include an aluminum interior to support even heating. Oftentimes the aluminum interior core goes up the sidewall of the cookware and is exposed at the lip. If this is the case, you should hand-wash your cookware. If you stick it in the dishwasher, the dishwasher soap will eat away at that exposed aluminum section. It's mostly cosmetic reminder not to put it in the dishwasher. If a relative puts it in the dishwasher when they're helping clean up some holiday, don't sweat it. It'll be fine. Just don't make a habit of frequently washing it in the dishwasher.
Other than that, they're pretty bulletproof. Some pots will come with glass lids, under the premise that you can see what's going on without lifting the lid. I prefer metal lids because they're more durable, glass tends to fog up anyway, and peeking for a second or two is usually no big deal.
Cast iron care
You've probably heard about how cast iron requires some kind of seasoning step that sounds weird and you don't want to do it. Also something about rust, maybe. Here's what you can do: just cook with it. You don't need to season it, it'll naturally build its seasoning from normal use.
You also may have heard not to use soap. That's a myth. Here's what I do: if I don't need to use soap, then I just rinse in water and wipe with a sponge. If I need to use soap (dawn), then I use it and don't worry about it. If it's encrusted, I use steel wool and get the stuff off. No big deal. If it happens to be less than ideal for the seasoning, don't sweat it, it'll come back.
Here are my actual rules for cast iron:
- don't leave it sitting in water for hours
- don't put it in the dishwasher
- don't worry about it
that's it. they are very bulletproof. It's cheap (at least the Lodge ones are). Pioneers would not have put up with skillet seasoning processes with special oils or paying a lot for cast iron. Don't worry about smooth vs bumpy or seasoning processes - just get one and use it often. The stories scare people off from actually enjoying one. Seriously, just get one and relax about it.